A feeling, though nasty, that something you were inspired to achieve turns against you. The same feeling that you haven’t done anything wrong in hurting others. Worse still, having no one around you to entrust with your heartache: No one.
The causes could be a breakdown in what seemed to be a promising relationship with your partner; trust in the education system putting you in despair; financial difficulties or even finding that great career.
I was desperate on what others shouldn’t think of me: Inferior; a sucker; a loser; pathetic; something to snigger at; oaf. I wanted an image that reflected my well-being in society and at the end of my first year at university, I fell into a depression. I had a dream-girl that wanted nothing to do with me. Not only that but as a business undergraduate, I half-heartedly wanted to be educated and I received no counselling on why I sought a year out. Taking that supposed year out became permanent; I was unsuccessful with intermediary jobs when casually asked on work experience in interviews — well I was fresh out of university.
However, having dropped out of university to rediscover myself had its greatest moment when I realise my potential: literature!
OK. It wasn’t a rosy beginning by picking up a Charles Dicken’s novella, A Christmas Carol, and I was induced with the merry spirit to run outside to greet strangers, friends and family to tea. It was the moment after placing my pencil into its case that I had a clear vision. It was so clear that it felt like I was going through a renaissance…Am I Emperor Septimius Severus? Aethiops? Or even a centurion? Believe it or not, I was jotting down certain Roman legionnaires to see how today’s civilization still affects us today.
It was quite a mad feeling of being 100% certain of my ancient heritage. I could even see Jesus Christ himself giving me guidance (Luke 7:1).
I never really understood what had happened to me and yet I’m not a pious Christian. It was from that moment that I’d began my journey to become a writer.
Basically, to overcome being disappointed; embrace it! Always remember that they are dark forces that actually feed on depression, and it makes them feel that they are magnificent.
So feed them the Truth!